2. It’s bad enough having to settle squabbles, plan plots and generally keep watch over Wessex. But because there’s always somebody thinking they should be in charge, Aethelwulf has to watch his BACK as well.
3. And if all that isn’t enough, a pretty NASTY bunch of people are headed his way. Actually, they aren’t very pretty at all. They’re a dirty, sweaty, stinking, savage bunch of bruisers. Boys and girls, hide under the covers and don’t make a sound! The Vikings are here!! (This is where you scream).
4. They sail over from Scandinavia in boats that look like dragons, they wear helmets with horns on, they haven’t had a bath in months and, pooh! you can tell! But then again, even Aethelwulf and his people (the Saxons) smell like they live in the same room as a HERD of cows, a CLUTCH of chickens and a FLOCK of sheep. (Actually, they do. Animals keep the huts warm like a sort of smelly central heating).
5. Anyway, the Vikings are famous. Or infamous would be a better way to say it. They sail over to Britain to steal and pillage as much as they can carry. And when they can’t carry any more, they STEAL PEOPLE and make them carry it! At the very mention of the word Viking, people tremble. Their mouths go dry, their eyes grow wide, they run inside and they shut their doors. But that won’t do any good.
6. Because the Vikings aren’t the sort of people who knock on your door to see if you’re in. Oh no. They’ll kick it in, take what they want and then burn down your house. With you inside it if they are in a bad mood. And usually, the Vikings are in a very, very BAD mood indeed.
7. Which all leads us back to King Aethelwulf and the Saxons. The Vikings have started buying off other kings to take over their land. If they can’t buy them off, they kill them off. And guess who’s next? Aethelwulf finds the problem of these new settlers very, well, very unsettling. He fears for the future and for his fine young sons Alfred and Aethelred.
8. Aethelred is the eldest, a strong man and a fierce warrior. You don’t want to get on the wrong side of Aethelred. Alfred, on the other hand, well, he’s quite the opposite. He prefers words to weapons, stories to swords, poetry to plots. He’s EXTREMELY clever but he also understands that the son of a king also needs his head in a helmet as well as a book. Which is just as well, because before the Vikings reach the kingdom, King Aethelwulf departs for the big hut in the sky.
9. Aethelred inherits the sword that has defended the Saxons for centuries and can cut a man in two NO PROBLEMO. Alfred inherits his father’s trusty horn. One blow is enough to summon all the men of the kingdom to his side. Let’s hope it’s true because, together, the two brothers must save Wessex from doom.
10. Aethelred and Alfred know they can’t buy off the Vikings, bribe them or blackmail them. In fact, there’s no point even trying to be nice to them, because that just makes them EVEN ANGRIER. So the two brothers have no choice but to stand up for their people – and take on the impolite impostors in battle.
11. The Vikings love a good scrap and can’t wait to get stuck in. The Saxon men of Wessex stand on the hill opposite, courageous and strong. The two armies stand and face each other. Silence fills the air. Even the birds have stopped singing. You can feel the excitement. Taste the fear. You have to be brave to stop your knees knocking and your teeth chattering with TERROR. Luckily Alfred and Aethelred are brave. Very brave indeed.
12. A battle cry shatters the quiet. Then another, and another, and another until it sounds like a particularly noisy crowd at a football match – except football hasn’t been invented yet. All at once, the Vikings launch themselves towards the men of Wessex, running as fast as they can, waving their swords in the air and shouting so loudly it’s a wonder their bulging eyeballs don’t pop out and their heads fall off (chance would be a fine thing).
13. OUMPH! BASH! CRASH! The two armies CLASH! OW! Ouf – that must hurt. And you should hear the noise: grunts, groans, screams, moans. The battle rages, the ground trembles, the air vibrates....and then, suddenly, the Vikings are running away like a bunch of little girls! They’ve had enough! But the Saxons aren’t celebrating just yet. They know their enemy will be back – and soon.
14. Then there’s some bad news. Whilst single-handedly taking on SEVEN of the Norsemen, Aethelred is wounded. And we’re not talking about a broken toenail either. In fact, he never recovers. A brave warrior to the last, he whispers his final words to his brother. “Defend Wessex. Defend our people.” Young Alfred is left alone...
Well not quite. A second Viking army is on the way and they are so angry they make the last lot look like a very polite tea party.
15. Their leader is the GRUESOME Guthrum. He’s as large as a bull and as strong as an ox. He roars like a lion, fights like a tiger - and eats like a PIG.
But his motley crew of meatheads might be very, very strong but they're also very, very stupid. On the way to Wessex they start arguing amongst themselves and quite a few of 'em forget what they’re supposed to be doing in the first place (which sorting out Wessex good and proper). Some go home in a sulk. Others settle down for a quiet life - after all, you can only do so much looting, burning and pillaging, can't you? But many still want REVENGE.
16. Alfred manages to keep them at bay for a while, wheeling and dealing and dishing out sweetners here and there. But the Vikings are a bitter bunch who prefer the taste of RETRIBUTION. So on a freezing, dark night during the coldest winter for years, Guthrum sends some particularly vengeful Vikings on a surprise raid on a town called Chippenham where Alfred is celebrating Christmas. And they aren’t planning on giving him a present...
17. They tip toe into town, creep around the streets and gather outside his hotel. Well, his hut actually. They stand there, still as statues - and smelly statues at that. Ever so quietly, they raise up their axes, pull out their swords, and prepare to pounce. Shouting AT THE TOP OF THEIR VOICES, they kick the doors down and BAM! In they rush. Alfred has had it!
18. Ooops. The room is empty. In fact, the whole hut is EMPTY. That's because the room IS the hut. Alfred isn’t stupid – he'd guessed something was up and kept his head down. But from now on, no place is safe. No place except one, that is. Alfred rides to the Somerset swamps, icy, freezing, unfriendly: downright dangerous for everyone...unless you know them. If not, they’ll pluck you out and suck you down and swallow you whole.
19. So Alfred is safe for the time being, but he’s also a fugitive living on what he can beg, borrow or steal. And that ain’t a lot. Accompanied by a few loyal and trusty nobles, he’s determined to save the land. His land. The thing is, what, with no army and a hoard of HAIRY heathens on your back, it’s easier said than done. In fact, where do you even start?
20. Well obviously, at first, you get a bit down. After all, when you’re a king and suddenly have no army, no money, no house (or hut), no food, and no spare underpants, AND you find yourself sheltering in a swamp that is cold, misty and damp – and that’s when the weather is nice - things do tend to look a little bit BLEAK.
21. But one day when a cold and CLAMMY fog had covered the marshes like an enormous ball of dirty cotton wool and things are going from really depressing to really depressing indeed, something very strange happens. Alfred has just settled down for a particularly paltry spot of lunch, when a wanderer silently appears from the fog and asks if he can have a bite to eat.
22. Well, with the way things have gone lately, Alfred could have been excused for rudely refusing. Instead, he politely stands and asks the stranger to help himself. They eat in silence. There’s silence all around. Finally, the stranger stands up, turns to Alfred and in a deep, strong voice says, ‘NEVER give up, my king. Victory will be yours when you blow on your battle horn.’ And without further ado, he turns and disappears back into the bog.
23. What a very strange experience! Alfred wanders back to the hut where he’s hiding. He’s still thinking about this enigmatic, ghost-like figure later on in the evening as he sits on the doorstep of a friendly peasant, making arrows for his bow. Was the man even real? How did he know who Alfred was? It all seemed so MYSTERIOUS, right in the middle of a mist filled marsh.
24. Alfred is lost so deep in thought that he doesn’t even hear the peasant’s wife ask him to keep an eye on her bread when she goes to fetch some water (taps haven’t been invented yet). He doesn’t even notice the bread start to burn, and when the wife gets back and finds her loaves doing a pretty good impression of COAL she gives him a right ear-bashing. She is unaware of who her guest really is, but she’s so angry it probably wouldn’t have made any difference.
25. Anyway, the silent stranger has helped Alfred to make a decision. The destiny of Wessex, of Britain, lies in his hands. Only Alfred can save his people and he will never give up. It’s time Alfred shows the invaders who the real boss is around here. Raising his horn to his lips, he takes a deep, deep breath and he blows...
26. Across the fields, through the villages, down into valleys and up, up over rolling green hills, the sound of Alfred’s horn FILLS the air. Men stop their work, look up and know that their king has returned. Farmers leave their fields, smithies leave their forges, potters leave their wheels. They take up their swords and their shields and their axes, they kiss their wives and their children goodbye, and they march to their king...to battle.
27. So here we are once more, with good King Alfred and his army facing THOUSANDS of bloodthirsty Vikings. Once more, silence reigns. The sky is so low and dark and heavy it feels like you could almost reach up and cut it open with your sword to let the sunlight shine through. But today, the swords have better things to do...
28. It's all over. The sun shines down on Wessex once more and the birds have started singing again. The poor old Vikings are destroyed, devastated, and in despair. Alfred has won a great victory and the once invincible invaders are now begging for peace, saying it was all a big misunderstanding and explaining that they didn't really mean anything by it. Do you believe them? Neither does Alfred. Even so, he's no cold-hearted killer. He lets them go - but on one condition. That they leave Wessex alone. FOREVER!
29. Many sail back home with their tails (or helmets) between their legs. Others RETREAT to the northern and eastern half of Britain, where they build farms and settle down to the quiet life. After all, all that looting and pillaging was actually a bit of a pain and didn’t win them many friends. So they’re actually a lot happier in their half of the country which they call Danelaw.
30. Alfred, meanwhile, unites all the kingdoms in the other half of the country. England’s Shepherd, the people cry. England’s Darling! He is Alfred the GREAT. But he hasn’t forgotten the one possession more powerful than his sword. His knowledge. So he builds schools and libraries, and when he isn’t busy building he’s establishing laws and justice. It’s a big job, but there’s one thing he’s learnt recently. Never, ever give up. After all, it isn’t easy to be a king.
The End
So, have you been paying attention? Let’s find out...
What was the name of King Alfred’s kingdom?
Essex
Wessex
Tyrannosaurus Rex
How did the Saxons keep warm?
They kept animals in their huts
They piled food down their guts
They covered themselves with soot
From where did the Vikings set sail?
Scandinavia
Costa Brava
Costa Coffee
What was the name of Alfred’s brother?
Aethelred
Aethelblue
Aunty Ethel
What does Alfred inherit from his father?
A rattle
Some cattle
A battle horn
Who is the fearsome leader of the Vikings?
Glamorous Glenda
Gruesome Guthrum
Toothless Twosome
Where does Alfred hide from the Vikings?
The sewer
The swamp
The sweet shop
Where do the Vikings call their part of England?
Danelaw
Score draw
A bit of a bore
What title did people give to Alfred?
The Great
The Late
My Mate
What was the name of King Alfred’s kingdom?
Essex
Wessex
Tyrannosaurus Rex
How did the Saxons keep warm?
They kept animals in their huts
They piled food down their guts
They covered themselves with soot
From where did the Vikings set sail?
Scandinavia
Costa Brava
Costa Coffee
What was the name of Alfred’s brother?
Aethelred
Aethelblue
Aunty Ethel
What does Alfred inherit from his father?
A rattle
Some cattle
A battle horn
Who is the fearsome leader of the Vikings?
Glamorous Glenda
Gruesome Guthrum
Toothless Twosome
Where does Alfred hide from the Vikings?
The sewer
The swamp
The sweet shop
Where do the Vikings call their part of England?
Danelaw
Score draw
A bit of a bore
What title did people give to Alfred?
The Great
The Late
My Mate
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